… TB Markinson

1. What’s the time of the day when you feel most like yourself?

That’s an intriguing question, since I’m always kinda uncomfortable in my own skin. Insecure—yep!

But I’d have to say early in the morning, especially if I had a good night’s rest. That’s when I feel like I can conquer the world and it’s the best time for me to get words on the page. During the winter months, I tend to get up well before five and bash out a lot of words. Winter mornings are amazing!

2. What’s your coffee order?

I know this won’t be a popular answer, but I hate coffee. I’ve only ever had one cup in my life and that’s because I was staying on a coffee plantation in Guatemala. It seemed rude not to drink one cup after seeing how much work is involved. I added a ton of milk and sugar and only managed to drink half a cup.

3. How would you describe yourself in three words?

Kind, funny, nervous

4. What is your opinion on possums?

I had to look up what possums look like, and they’re cute. But now I’m confused if possums live in Australia and opossums live in the North America or vice versa. I get easily confused, which is why some of the women I dated didn’t return my calls, because I used the wrong name. Pro dating tip: never call a woman by the wrong name. I’m not sure if possums and opossums are as picky.

4. A. Bonus question: What is your opinion on tits?

I love tits. Who doesn’t love tits? And, in case I have to clarify, I’m speaking of the bird variety of tits. There’s the crested tit, great tit, bearded tit, and more. In my author newsletter, I talk about tits a lot. So much so, now when readers see ads for shirts or mugs that read Nice Tits or Calm Your Tits (again, there are birds on the shirts), they send me screenshots. Which I love. Tits make me very happy! Here’s me standing next to a David Thoreau statue wearing an I Love a Pair of Great Tits shirt.

5. What’s the worst piece of advice you’ve ever received?

I had a high school counselor tell me I wasn’t cut out for college, and I shouldn’t try. Luckily, I didn’t listen. I thrived in college and it’s the first time I found people who got me. Since then, I’ve been wary of advice givers. I much prefer people who listen.

6. What makes you smile?

Aside from tits, I have to say a lot of things. Sunrises. Sunsets. Hiking. Laughing with friends. Puppies. Kittens. Squirrels. Chipmunks. Flowers. The Monster Mash. Rainbows.

I’m like Elf a bit when he says, “Smiling is my favorite.” I think if you’re smiling, and you really mean it, you’re tapping into your inner strength. It’s my superpower.

7. Do you believe in soulmates?

As a romance writer, I’m obligated to say yes. But I don’t think we just have one. I think we find soulmates throughout our lives and right when we need them the most. Also, I think friends can be soulmates. There are just some people in life who get you and you need all the love and support to survive life, in my humble opinion.

8. What author would you follow till the ends of every literary genre they chose to write in?

Sarah Waters. Not only do I love her use of language, but she was one of the first authors who made me believe I could tell queer stories and there would be an audience. Also, I had the chance to meet her, and she’s incredibly sweet.

9. What makes you cry?

I hate seeing any creature in pain, whether it is emotional or physical suffering. It cuts right through me.

10. What’s your best feature?

My sense of humor. It’s gotten me through many difficult times in life. I love to find humor even during the darkest moments. I know if I can keep laughing, I can survive anything.

11. If you were a book, which book would you be and why?

The Little Prince. He’s always asking questions, and that’s something I still do. I think it’s important for all of us to hold on to childish awe of the world for as long as we can. Otherwise, what’s the point of life? There’s so much to love, appreciate, and learn.

12. Favorite flavor and scent?

Tamales with mole sauce. I can live on them.

Gardenias. It calms me.   

13. In a crowded room, what makes you notice a woman?

Her voice and laughter. You learn a lot about someone by the way they laugh. And some voices are just so damn sexy.

14. What’s your one big regret?

Not believing in myself earlier. My self-doubt is debilitating, and I still have to manage it on a daily basis. It’s amazing I ever published anything, let alone hitting the publish button more than 30 times. It’s a battle each time!

15. What would be the title of your autobiography?

I Never Quit Smiling

16. Three women you’d have over for dinner and what would you serve?

Three? I’m so shy that stopped my heart for a second. Okay, let me think. I’m going with the notion they can be historical peeps.

Queen Elizabeth I, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Dorothy Parker.

I’d serve Chinese takeout (I wouldn’t even serve an enemy something I cooked) and a lot of martinis.

17. What’s the one thing you’d want the 18-year-old you to know?

Everything will work out and you’ll find people who will love you as you are.

18. What’s in your fridge right now?

Leftover Chinese, two avocados, baby carrots, and a case of Coke Zero. It might be time to go to the store…

19. If you could choose one song to be played every time you enter a room, what song would that be and why?

“The Monster Mash.” It’s my favorite and makes me smile each and every time I hear it. My peeps know to play it at my funeral, no matter the time of year. I’m going out the way I lived. With childish glee.

20. What’s the one book you wish you could read again for the first time?

The Hobbit. It’s the first book I remember reading on my own when I was sick and had to stay home from school. Because of that book, I fell in love with the power of storytelling.

TB Markinson has published over 30 novels, many of them making the Amazon bestseller lists for lesbian fiction and lesbian romance. In 2017, TB founded I Heart SapphFic (iheartsapphfic.com), a place for authors and readers to come together to celebrate sapphic fiction. When she isn’t writing, she’s hiking, watching sports, visiting historical sites in New England, or reading.

Sign up for TB’s newsletter to receive a free book, bonus chapters, and a short story. You can also follow her adventures in life and see photos of her grumpy cat. Here’s the link: https://eepurl.com/hhBhXX