1 Question With 14-ish Authors

I ask our beloved authors some pretty strange questions. And they are always game for answering my totally, at times bonkers inquiries.

So for the second Special Edition of Milena’s Strange Questions, we move into Valentine’s Day territory. I decided to ask a number of authors (there were supposed to be 14, turns out I can’t count to save my life) the question that has surely been on absolutely everyone’s mind. I mean how could it not have been, it’s the DAY OF LOVE!

Here goes:

You’re a Cupid. What’s your strategy for bringing people together?

Anne Shade

If I’m a Cupid my strategy for helping people fall in love would be to find out what in life brings makes them feel loved and brings them joy then I would seek others who share those same feelings and who would be compatible in other areas, arrange for them to meet while doing an activity they both enjoy. It’s simple but I think effective.

Lise Gold

I'd throw in the element of surprise and make them meet in a time and a place where they never expected to find love. Perhaps in the middle of the jungle, at a boring work conference, or while gatecrashing a wedding. As I'm Cupid, I already know they're destined to be together, so I can have a bit of fun with it. I might cause some chaos, throw in some hurdles they'd have to overcome, but not before I sprinkle my magic chemistry gold over them. No one can resist my chemistry gold.

Anna Stone

I'd trap them together in a situation where they have nowhere to go, giving them no choice but to get to know each other. A malfunctioning elevator, a cabin in a snowstorm, a broken down car in a deserted area. Ideally, they'd have to share the only bed or huddle together for warmth. Plus, they'd have to work together to get out of their predicament, providing plenty of opportunities for love to blossom.

Clare Lydon

Crikey, I’m Cupid the Love God? I’m assuming I’m magical because I’m a god? Therefore, I’d make everyone swallow the Valencia filter – the one on Instagram that gives everything a glow-up. Then I’d transplant you to a warm, sunset field with your favourite music playing, and your favourite wine on tap. The best rave ever. Add ladies. Delicious, tactile dancing ensues. Behold, ladies falling in love!

Diana Kane

If I were a cupid, I’d position myself somewhere where I’d be able to sling my arrows while going unnoticed by the masses. I’d take on jobs like arena security, where I could fly under the radar as well as nurture my mischievous streak. Spilled drinks? Upended popcorn or nachos? Moshpit mishap? Bitter rivals? Order can come from chaos, and so can the perfect match.

Jeannie Levig

I am a Cupid who specializes in difficult couplings, either ones who are highly resistant to one another or those who are so distracted by work, family obligations, or all-consuming obsessions to notice the presence of my more subtle comrads in Cupiddom. My most typical strategy for getting these couples together is to orchestrate a situation in which they are stuck together alone for as long as it rakes for them to start having hearts and roses start drifting through their thoughts, such as being trapped in a mountain cabin together by a freak snow storm, being sequestered together as jurors on a long trial, or when all perhaps something as simple as getting stuck in an elevator together over night. I would, of course, hover around invisibly until that perfect moment when my arrows would do the most goof, then flit off on my way, knowing my work there is done.

Roslyn Sinclair

Be devious, especially when it’s enemies to lovers. They book two hotel rooms but one reservation “disappears” so they have to share. Get them to attend a party because they’re SURE the other person won’t show. Put a fake love interest into the mix to around feelings of jealousy they can’t explain. Create situations where one eavesdrops on the other begrudgingly complimenting them. Nice? Not at all. Entertaining? That’s the plan!

Chelsea Cameron

If I was Cupid, my strategy for helping people fall in love would be to ask each person what the most romantic gift they could think of is, and then somehow drop that hint to the other person. When someone gives you a specific gift that shows they know you, that’s love for me.

Kris Bryant

As a cupid, I have a super fun, magical bow and golden-tipped arrows that if I hit people in the heart with my arrow, they fall in love. That way worked for thousands of years, without fail, until a few of my cousins ended up in prison because their arrows missed the mark. True story - I don’t want to go to jail (cute cherubs in prison cause waves) so I’ve come up with a different way to help people fall in love. I’ve hung up the bow, closed the dating app for modern times, and now I resort to sparkly glitter from my golden-tipped arrows instead. It’s an easy conversation starter and who doesn’t smile when they see glitter on people? I *accidentally* bump into them and if they are open to falling in love, the glitter sticks. Their true love will notice it, say something, and BAM! Love. It’s now a choice whereas before, the lines were blurry and the arrows a bit violent and forced. Glitter, like love, lasts forever.

Brenda Murphy

Stress and time limits are the enemies of love. Falling in love, or rekindling an old love, takes time. Time to soak up the other person’s energy, time to experience their energy, time to discover all the little things that get you totally hooked on a person.

I’d set my folks up with unlimited funds, and a remote island trip, to somewhere with gentle warm breezes, wonderful food and the best beaches. They would have no outside pressures, unlimited time to talk, time to read together, play games, and get to know each other. Or if they aren’t beach folks, a quiet mountain cabin, a fireplace, with books, board games, snow if they like that sort of thing, and in both settings absolutely nowhere to be but with each other.

JE Leak

You know the saying love is blind? Yeah. That was my idea.

People are more susceptible to love when they’re not looking for love. Why? Because they are absent expectations.

Thanks to my Cupid’s Touch (tm), my chosen matches are momentarily blinded to their past (pain, regret, guilt, etc.) and made oblivious to the future.

When these things fall away, the heart is open and primed for love to enter. They will accept it, of course, because everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to be seen, and my love matches will see only each other. For a few brief, shining moments of clarity, nothing else will exist.

What they find in that hedonistic glow of truth will determine where their relationship goes. It’s not my job to manipulate anyone, only to open their hearts to the possibility of love. The rest is in their hands.

How do I choose my matches? I can’t give away my secrets, but … (*whispers* I’m a big fan of tropes).

Sometimes you just need a gentle nudge and an open heart.

Next week, we’ll discuss stubborn fools and the saints who love them.

Thanks for attending my LoveTalk: Matchmaking 101. I’ll be here for all eternity.

TB Markinson

If I was a Cupid, I would not be allowed to handle a bow and arrow. Seriously. No one should trust me with a spork, let alone a bow and arrow. Unless the tactic is for me to accidentally shoot myself (I could never harm anyone else), and have the first love target rush me to the emergency room, to be treated by the second love target, and while they’re reattaching an appendage (I have skills when it comes to really unexplainable injuries), they fall madly in love. If that’s the case, I’m willing to take the hit. (This is fictional, right? Just the thought of blood is making me woozy.)

K Aten

People that know me best know I'm all about analysis and spreadsheets. I'd start by observing my marks...er, romantic subjects, arranging lists and saving maps for all their favorite activities and places. I'd record things such as likes, dislikes, emotional intelligence and romantic availability to best certify they were compatible.

Then, once all the boxes check out, I'd use my magic to arrange a series of meet cutes. Coffee shop one day, dog park two days later. Oh, the coffee shop woman, AND same person you bumped into while picking out produce, is ALSO your veterinarian? You don't say! Eventually they'd get to know one another and wham, shoot 'em with the old love arrow to seal the deal. Next! 💕🏹

Johana Gavez

The only choice is to become a chaotic Cupid that uses all the fanfiction tropes to help people fall in love. Someone is going on a vacation with their best friend? Well, there’s only one bed now. Someone else doesn’t have a date for an important event? I’ll make them fake-date their co-worker.

As someone who has done long-distance dating, I would also go around the world putting people who, in normal circumstances, would have never met each other in contact. I would have them like the same TV Shows and get in touch online, for example. Or I would have two people from different corners of the world follow each other on Twitter and slowly build a friendship that turns into more.

Violet Morley

The pressures of being a Cupid would be near-crippling for me, so knowing myself, I would procrastinate heavily—doing anything but the main objective. Also because I’m fascinated with archery (I even built a bow from scratch as a high school project), I would probably spend most of my time at the archery range target practicing until my position as Cupid was terminated.

Erin Zak

FIRST AND FOREMOST, I am not wearing a diaper.

That being said, in order to get two people to fall in love who one hundred percent should be, I think the thing I would do is simply introduce them.

I know that sounds really lazy, but I truly believe that all it takes for two people to figure out if they’re meant for each other is to look into each other’s eyes, connect, and talk like grown adults.

The catch here, though, is that I would love to be the facilitator of questions. Almost like a gameshow host.

“Tell me, contestant #1, what would be your ideal date?”

“How would you react if you found out the person you have feelings for likes pineapple on pizza?”

“Where would you go if you could go anywhere for a week, all expenses paid?”

“Jennifer Aniston or Kate Winslet and why - GO!” (That’s probably more for my benefit, honestly…)

“Favorite sit-com? Favorite movie? Favorite singer? Favorite song?”

“Toothbrush or razor on a deserted island?”

And as they’re talking and figuring things out, I’d also like a cool theme song.

At the end of the day, getting to know someone is the best way to figure out if they’re the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. And with a cool gameshow host asking questions, what could possibly go wrong? Ha!

Happy Valentine’s Day to you all! Thank you for being amazing and for all the support you provide to your favorite sapphic fiction authors.

If you’re wondering what the best VDAY gift is for an author - the answer to this one is simple because it is always the same answer - reviews! Leave a review on a book you’ve enjoyed and make an author’s day!

Sending much love!