… Caren J. Werlinger

1. What’s the time of the day when you feel most like yourself?

Since I tend to wake up early to write and prefer the house to stay dark and quiet while I do, my wife would probably say that’s when I’m most me – grumpy and introverted. She’s probably right.

2. What’s your coffee order? 

I rarely order coffee out. We go through about a pot and half every day between us, and I prefer mine black, unsweet. The coffee equivalent of straight whiskey!

3. Describe yourself in three words?

Private, thoughtful (as in, I often take a lot of time to think about things), loyal

4. What do you think of garden gnomes?

It’s funny you ask that, because I’m pretty sure one has come to life in our neighborhood. There’s an older woman (I really have to watch how I use that phrase, as I’m probably now the “older woman” to a lot of our neighbors…) who walks by the house nearly every evening. She’s short and stocky with flyaway gray hair. She really does look like a gnome! But she’s friendly, so all is good.

5. Who’s the most fascinating person you’ve ever met? 

I’m going to answer this as who are some of the most memorable people you’ve ever met, and I think my reply would have to be certain patients whose names and stories have stayed with me. Helen, who was one of my very first physical therapy patients in 1989. She lost her leg to diabetes and had to learn how to walk with a prosthesis. She and her husband, Reggie, were so sweet and gracious through such a trying time. And Nancy, an RN who was involved in a horrible motor vehicle accident that left her with a severe traumatic brain injury. She knew she was never going to be able to work as an RN again. I went to her room after work a few evenings to just talk and ask how she was doing. I gave her a rosary as she was preparing to leave the hospital to start rehab and let her know I was praying for her. She returned the rosary to me months later with a letter, asking me to pass the rosary on to someone else who needed it. I still have that letter 32 years later. There are many others, but this has gone on long enough.

6. What makes you smile? 

A lot of things: any kind of animal post on-line; our goofy dogs; one little weed stubbornly growing from a crack in the sidewalk; my wife when she’s muttering to herself while figuring out where she dropped a stitch while knitting.

7. Do you believe in soulmates?

I do, but I think we don’t always find them as our first loves. My wife and I met as we were both recovering from break-ups. I think we helped each other heal, and it gave us time to become friends without any romantic tension as we got to know each other. By the time we realized we’d fallen in love, I knew I’d found my soulmate. I can’t imagine anyone “getting” me better than she does. Glad we got it right with a second chance.

8. What is the most obscure thing you are or were into? 

I am a packrat of interests — woodworking (I write at a desk I made), fly-fishing, guitar and now violin, golf. I’m not great at any of them, but I really enjoy them and the variety. So, nothing obscure or even all that interesting.

9. What makes you cry?

Just about anything lately. I’m totally blaming it on hormones! I’ve cried my fair share over my books. Those homeless/abused animal videos on-line, but they almost always end up happy. A sappy movie or book. A card from my wife. This has become ridiculous!

10. What personality trait gets you most often in trouble?

It’s probably a toss-up between my tendency to stress out in advance before a potential conflict (which most often turns out to be much ado about nothing) and my gullibility. When I owned my PT practice and health club, I was a sucker for every hard luck case that came in asking for a handout. I never just gave them money, but always found a job for them to do. After a while, when my staff started recognizing the same people coming back with the same dead grandmother story, they didn’t even let them talk to me!

11.  What is the one thing you wish you could quit?

Hmmm, I can’t think of anything for this. I’m pretty boring with no truly bad habits. Oh, wait, my wife would remind me I own way too many pairs of shoes and boots: Keens, Chacos, Chucks, Sperrys, Blundstones. Yeah… ☺

12. Who’d play you if Hollywood made a movie about your life?

Oh, gosh, this is one of those questions I’m horrible at answering. The thing is, as you get older, you still have the same mental picture of yourself at a certain age, say 32. So, I’d like to say Linda Hamilton – she was so kick-ass in Terminator 2 and Dark Fate. Not that there’s anything about my life that really needs kick-ass, but I’d enjoy watching!

13. In a crowded room, what makes you notice a woman?

Her eyes first, then her smile. Later, other things like her hands.

14. What is the assumption people make often about you but it happens to be completely wrong?

That I’m as mean as I look. Seriously, I think I had permanent frown lines by age 10. Goes back to that intense, thinking-about-things-too-much thing.

15. What would be the title of your autobiography? 

I hope it would be something like, “A Life Well-Lived”.

16. Three women you’d have over for dinner and what would you serve? 

It would be two women: my (adoptive) mother, who passed away at age 49 when I was 25. And my biological mother, whose name I just found out in the past year, but she passed in 1996, so there was never a chance to meet her. As to what I’d serve, I’m not sure I could even eat if I could just have that time with the two of them.

17. What is the one memory you’d give anything to relive?

The last day I got to spend with my mother before she died later that night.

18. What’s in your fridge right now?

Honey Baked Ham! And yogurt, apples, tomatoes, peppers, dog beans (they love green beans, carrots, pumpkin…). And Thin Mints!!!!!! They’re always better cold, you know. ☺

19. If you could choose one song to be played every time you enter a room, what song would that be and why? 

“Shut Up and Dance” by Walk the Moon. I can’t dance at all, but I love that song. It’s impossible to listen to it and sit still.

20. Funniest/best/saddest/proudest (choose one) thing that ever happened to you as a sapphic fiction author?

Winning awards is really gratifying, but what truly means the most is hearing from a reader who is dealing with something one of my characters is also dealing with (cancer, amputation, polio, the death of a partner, struggles with religion vs spirituality) when they write to say they found hope and inspiration in the book. (honestly, not all of my books deal with such heavy topics) Book wise, it’s hard to beat that!

Caren Werlinger’s latest release, An Unlit Candle, can be found here: mybook.to/CarenWerlingerCandle

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