… Monica McCallan

1. What’s the time of the day when you feel most like yourself?

I love any time after midnight. It feels like borrowed time, when you can simply exist without expectation. I can write, browse the internet, or chat with people in different time zones and feel like I’m getting away with something.

2. What’s your coffee order? 

Coldbrew with maple syrup and oat milk.

3. How would you describe yourself in three words?

Lots of feelings.

4. What do you think of garden gnomes?

I can’t say I think of them often given that I live in Philadelphia, but when I was in Oakland, CA, there were painted gnome pieces on wood tacked to the bottom of utility poles throughout the city. I loved finding them during walks.

5. Fauxmance or only one bed?

Why not both!? As a reader, I think I enjoy fauxmance more. The idea of characters playing at something you know is becoming more real is a special type of angst. One bed presents a heightened situation, but it exists in more of a vacuum than a story that evolves over pretending something is happening that actually becomes real.

6. What makes you smile?

My dogs. Pretty days. Reading a really good book. I tend to be curious about the world, and there are a lot of things that make me smile just to finally know they exist or experiencing them again for the hundredth time.

7. Do you believe in soulmates?

I have gotten into many conversations with Sheena from The Lesbian Review about this exact subject! We did a 40-episode podcast on Juliantina from Amar a Muerte and they are the textbook definition of soulmates. I don’t want to call it cheating, but I looked at Clare Ashton’s response to this question. She makes a great point about the geographical constraints of soulmates. While I *want* to believe in soulmates, I think the broader conversation is that two people have to be willing to grow together. Destiny or fate or whatever you want to call it could overcome all of the obstacles and put two out of the six billion people in this world in the same space, but it’s hard work and dedication that will keep them together. I don’t want to absolve the hard work of relationships by calling it some sort of plan of the divine.

8. What author would you switch lives with for a day? 

Anna Burke seems to be out in the woods a lot and she just got a new cat, so at this current moment in time, definitely her. (Also, she’s insanely talented and does world-building in her books and I would love to know what that experience is like).

9. What makes you cry?

Sad videos. Happy videos. I have very visceral emotional responses to things. I can generally keep it together, but once it happens, it’s like the floodgates have opened. Once I start crying, it feels very cathartic and I just want to lean into that feeling. But selfishly… I wear contacts and it tends to completely ruin them, so I try to keep my tears to a minimum for the sake of self-preservation.

10. What’s your best feature?

My eyebrows. Next question.

11.  What was the best and the worst thing about high school?

Best - All the girls I made out with

Worst - All the girls I made out with while still not accepting I was a lesbian

12. Favorite movie character? 

Vivian Shing from Saving Face, a 2004 lesrom movie from the incomparable Alice Wu. She’s the type of lesbian I aspire to be. She’s confident without being cocky. She knows what she wants and she wants to have that with Wil, but she isn’t willing to sacrifice herself for it. As a romantic, I can sometimes struggle with my own boundaries because I just love love so much, but Vivian is aspirational to me because she’s grounded and self-aware while still looking for someone to have a deep, meaningful connection with.

13. In a crowded room, what makes you notice a woman?

I love sincere smiles.

14. What’s one thing you wish more people did?

I wish more people were vulnerable. I know it’s difficult and makes people feel raw and exposed, but it’s where the true magic happens of growing closer to someone. I’m very much about symbiotic relationships/friendships, and you have to give to get. 

15. What would be the title of your autobiography?

Lots of feelings: The Unabridged Version

16.  If you could be reincarnated as any animal, what would you be? 

Obviously the dog of a lesbian. I have it on good authority how well they are treated and wouldn’t mind it at all.

17. What would you do with a million dollars?

I am so risk-averse it’s not even funny. I’d invest it in a low-risk portfolio and let it grow over the next thirty years. Oh, and I’d buy all the lesfic books I want. 

18. What’s the one thing you don’t leave home without (wallet/phone/keys don’t count)?

The easy answer feels like a mask. Realistically, I almost always carry a side bag in case I want to grab anything while I’m out. I refer to myself as a permanent pedestrian since I almost never drive, so trips to the grocery store or odd errands are usually done on foot.

19. If you could choose one song to be played every time you enter a room, what song would that be and why? 

I think for my own sanity, it would need to be something instrumental. I love the song Slush by Human Pyramids. Some people may answer this question as to what they’d want other people to hear, but since I’m the one who would have to constantly listen to it, I’m going with something that will make me happy for as long as possible (until it inevitably slowly starts driving me insane).

20. What’s the one book you wish you could read again for the first time? 

Real talk: my own books. After you’ve been so deep in writing them, it’s so hard to look at them with a clear mind during the editing process. It would be fantastic to be able to read the drafted version with fresh eyes in order to experience what a normal reader would feel.

Read Monica McCallan’s new Holiday Season novel, Cuffing Seasons here: mybook.to/MonicaMcCallan