… Melissa Tereze
1. What’s the time of the day when you feel most like yourself?
Probably the afternoon and into the evening. I’m not a morning person at all. Two coffees in and I’d consider myself a tiny bit ‘normal’, but anything before that and I’ll probably hiss at you.
2. What’s your coffee order?
It used to be a peppermint coffee Frappuccino with extra peppermint, but then I discovered I have a lactose intolerance and the peppermint just doesn’t do the job with oat/almond milk. So now I go for an almond cappuccino or an iced brown sugar oat shaken espresso.
3. Describe yourself in three words?
Genuine. Loyal (to a fault, at times). Scouse.
4. What do you think of garden gnomes?
I think that if I had any, the potential to be murdered in my sleep would be there. A bit like cats, gnomes seem like the type of thing to take over the world one day. I don’t need that in my life.
5. Sweet or savory?
Sweet! Though, I do love a bag of crisps (chips to my pals in the US).
6. What makes you smile?
Kindness. It doesn’t have to be some huge random act of kindness, but I love to see people pay it forward in some way. You never know when a person is having a really rubbish time and that one small thing changes their day. It has been known to save a life or two. Always be kind.
7. Do you believe in soulmates?
Absolutely. I met mine at 19 and we’re almost 15 years into this soulmate thing. I also believe that we have friend soulmates. Those people are just as important in life.
8. Gloves or mittens?
Neither. They make me feel weird. Ew.
9. What makes you cry?
Honestly? Practically anything.
10. What personality trait gets you most often in trouble?
Telling it how it is. What you see is what you get with me. I can’t turn on a false personality and I guess sometimes people expect that of you. If that’s what you need, don’t invite me to the party. I probably wouldn’t make it anyway, because, you know? Wearing a bra and stuff.
11. What is the one thing you wish you could quit?
Smoking. I know, it’s a terrible habit. But if I want to avoid committing murder some days, that’s my go-to.
12. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Of course. Isn’t it cute? N’awwww.
13. In a crowded room, what makes you notice a woman?
Eyes. Always eyes. You can tell a lot about someone’s personality based on their eyes alone. At least, I can.
14. Would you go to high school again? College?
No, thank you. Hated the place.
15. What would be the title of your autobiography?
I Don’t Know What I’m Doing…A Memoir.
16. Three women you’d have over for dinner and what would you serve?
Adele. Hannah Waddingham. Charlize Theron. Because WHY THE HELL NOT? I’d serve up some creamy garlic mushrooms on bruschetta to start, then I’d bring out my homemade beef wellington with glazed vegetables for the main, and then we’d have to go for something really rich for dessert. Maybe some kind of chocolate bombe thingy. Okay, now I’m hungry!
Also, IMAGINE the fun I’d have with Adele and Hannah in the same room together. Anyone for a little karaoke?
17. What is the one memory you’d give anything to relive?
Christmas Day 2020. Three weeks before my auntie passed away unexpectedly. We knew something wasn’t right but we had the best day with each other. If I knew she wouldn’t be here by mid-January, I’d have stayed longer that night. I’d have laughed more with her. I’d have told her how much I loved her and I’d have hugged her. I’d give anything to hug her one last time. It was during Covid so we were being extra careful. I never got that one last hug and kiss from her and she practically helped raise me from birth.
18. What’s in your fridge right now?
A million cartons of barista oat milk. Various different cheese items. Sauces which should probably go in the bin because they’re from 1973. Meat, Garcia’s mackerel, and a partridge in a pear tree! No idea how that fit in there.
19. If you could choose one song to be played every time you enter a room, what song would that be and why?
I Drink Wine - Adele
Not because I drink wine. I don’t and I can’t stand the stuff, but the lyrics are just *chefs kisses*
Why am I obsessing about the things I can't control?
Why am I seeking approval from people I don't even know?
AMEN to that, sweet cheeks!
20. If you could have an evening-long conversation with one author, who would that be and what would you talk about?
Clare Lydon. We’d discuss some bookish stuff, how she masters writing THE BEST first kiss scenes, and then we’d swiftly move onto discussing Sarina Wiegman in a suit. Because that’s just standard lesbian stuff. Especially in the UK right now. Go Lionesses!
Melissa Tereze’s latest novel, Vanessa—the book that wraps up her fantastic Mrs Middleton series—can be found following this link: https://mybook.to/VanessaMelissaTereze